Up Against the Wall
A restaurant manager on Breckenridge’s Main Street called police after what he described as an “obviously intoxicated” man scared one too many customers.
Officers responded and took the scary man’s description, which included a straw hat with fake marijuana leaves hanging from it. The manager also later told officers the man was swearing in Spanish.
Well, they could have been fake leaves, or they might not. The man reportedly told restaurant customers and passersby, “I am with the drug cartel. I have a gun.” The restaurant manager told the officers the drunk man had wandered away on foot.
Officers were able to pick up the man’s trail, as several people on the street reported seeing a loud man with fake marijuana leaves hanging from his straw hat. Officers caught up with “Mr. Cartel” just as he was freaking out a couple pushing a stroller. The officers put the man in the back of a patrol car.
The intoxicated man grew more belligerent, threatened officers and, generally, was not happy. “I will kill all you mother-f-,” he told officers at the jail, and “I will come to your house and kill all your family.”
The Breckenridge officer wrote in his report, “The list of threats is too long to practically include in this text.”
While the man sat in a restraint chair, the officers booked him for disorderly conduct. They also discovered he had recently been arrested for DUI, with bond conditions that required he abstain from drinking alcohol.
“I was just drinking my own beer on a park bench,” the man said.
The inadvertent flash
A Silverthorne factory outlet store called police officers reporting an indecent exposure. The dressing room attendant told an officer that a man entered the dressing room to put on a pair of shorts, but he left the dressing room door open. The dressing room attendant saw more than she wanted to. The manager told the officer she approached the man to tell him what happened.
The man is reported to have said, “Oh, geez.” He promptly left the store. Officers searched the area but were unable to find anyone matching the description store employees gave – maybe because the man put his pants back on.
A clean thief
Keystone housekeeping staff alerted authorities after discovering someone had broken in to a supply closet. An employee told a sheriff’s deputy that “no supplies appeared to be missing, though one of the vacuums has not been seen since the break-in.”
Investigators will be on the look-out for anyone with exceptionally clean carpet.
Silverthorne police officers discovered numerous factory outlet store employees had been receiving lewd, harassing phone calls. The caller would ask to speak to the youngest employee in the store, pretend to be a friend of another employee in the store, and then ask about how to pick out a properly sized bathing suit.
“Where do you measure a woman – across the nipples?” the man asked one store clerk.
Most employees attempted to “star-69” the caller to determine who it was, but without much luck. Officers attempted to use phone records to find the caller, but had little success. It wasn’t until Target store security reported men camping in a van in the store parking lot that officers had a lead.
Officers found a Florida man in the van, as well as a cell phone and many coupon books for the outlet stores. The man denied calling any outlet stores and said the coupon books were for free coffee. The man told the officer the cell phone battery was dead. Officers had no way of linking the man to the harassing calls, but miraculously, the calls stopped and the man left town. Hmmm.
Reid Williams can be reached at (970) 668-3998, ext. 237, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
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