You mean you don’t have the key? |

You mean you don’t have the key?


A teacher at Breckenridge Elementary School had to call a police officer for some help with her students. It wasn’t that the students had committed a crime, or even misbehaved. They were simply playing with a set of handcuffs – without a key. The officer came to the rescue and separated the students.

The report wasn’t clear whether handcuffs are now part of state-mandated achievement testing, or one of the benefits of the No Child Left Behind Act.

Clean, or I’ll kill you

Dispatchers called Silverthorne police, saying they had a 911 caller on the line with a lot of angry voices in the background. Two officers went to the address and found roommates in a disagreement.

One officer talked with one of the tenants, who told the officer his ribs, eye and elbow hurt. The man explained they hurt because his roommates had attacked him, tackling him to the kitchen floor. Why had they attacked him? Well, the man said, each roommate has a scheduled kitchen-cleaning day. The roommates felt the man had not done his part.

The officers cited the aggressor for assault and battery. The report is not clear as to who then cleaned the kitchen.

Honest, it’s the Polish medicine

A man drove up to the Silverthorne Police Department with his 8-year-old daughter and asked officers to go give his wife a breath test because he believed she was intoxicated and had just been driving with their daughter. The man said his wife had just driven away.

The officer put out a radio report of a possibly intoxicated driver, but before any officers could find her, she showed up at the police department. In her report, the officer described the woman’s red, watery eyes, lack of balance and smell of alcohol.

The woman swore, however, that she had not had anything to drink. She said she had been taking “Polish medicine” for the past four days. She denied driving and said her husband had taken her car to the house, and she was taking the bus home. The woman walked to the bus stop, and officers watched to make sure she got on.

Three hours later, the officer listened to the radio as a state trooper pulled the woman over. The Silverthorne officer went to help out and when she arrived, the mother explained it was the “Polish medicine” that’s making her look drunk.

What is “Polish medicine,” the officers asked? It’s alcohol mixed with sugar, the woman explained – and it’s a good thing it is medicine, because as the officers arrested the woman, they learned she was on probation and prohibited from drinking.

Break the law, you get ‘harassed’

A Breckenridge officer spotted a couple sitting on the grass at the Riverwalk Center with their dog – right near the signs that say “Dogs prohibited.” The officer was also pretty sure she had spoken to the man last year about the same thing. Another officer joined in, and the two approached the couple with the dog.

As the officers neared, the couple got up and picked up their blanket, and the officer called out saying dogs weren’t allowed in the area. The officer also asked if she had spoken to the man last year.

“Yeah it was me, and I am tired of you harassing me,” the officer quoted the man in the report, noting his scowl and nasty tone. The officers report they tried to calm the man, who told them, “Just go ahead and write me a ticket.”

Again, the officers tried to calm the man, who continued: “Yeah, just write me a ticket. I’m a longtime local, and I’m going to leave because of this. I’m tired of being harassed.”

At that point he threw his large container of liquid at the picnic table and threw his book across the park. The officers wrote him a ticket.

If you thought book clubs were boring …

Breckenridge officers were called to a house on a report of a domestic disturbance. Dispatchers told police that a man was ramming into other vehicles with his car, possibly trying to use it as a weapon.

The first officer to arrive found the “weapon” somewhat neutralized. A man in a Jeep was stuck in the driveway, spitting gravel as he spun the tires – and he continued to do so, despite all the flashing lights and police officers yelling for him to get out of the car. Finally, the officer was able to order the man out of the car and onto the ground, but only after pointing his pistol at him.

After cuffing, frisking and getting a strong whiff of alcohol from the man, the officer helped him (and he had to help a lot) to his feet and into the patrol car. Two other officers arrived and interviewed the woman in the house. At this point, the first officer looked around the yard and noticed tire tracks throughout the yard, the rocks that used to line the walkway all over the yard and several sets of ruts where the vehicle must have gotten stuck in the yard.

There was no evidence of domestic violence (except to the yard), so the two officers took the man to have his blood drawn for a DUI charge, and the first officer gave the woman (also intoxicated) a ride home.

On the drive, the woman explained that she was at her book club when her boyfriend burst in. She thought he had been drinking (which would go against the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings he’d been attending), and he denied it. He called her a bad word, went outside and got in her car and tore up the lawn. Then he got in his Jeep and tore up the lawn some more.

“I think he was just blowing off steam,” she told the officer. “He’s been doing so well lately.”

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