Biff America: G-spots and jokers |

Biff America: G-spots and jokers

“T yler,

‘Here’s my column for the spring issue. BUT HERE’S THE DEAL.

twice in this column I used the term ‘g-spot’ once in the headline once in the close.

i think it is funny and works best

but if you don’t agree–that’s fine–just substitute ‘cleavage’ for ‘g-spot’ in both places headline and close.

here’s to anothr great year. thanks for publishing my stuff


The above is a cut-and-pasted (obviously unedited) copy of a recent email I sent to the editor of a magazine I write for that is based back east. Included with the above email was a better spelled and punctuated column that this editor will clean up and publish. I’ve been working with this same editor and writing for that same national magazine for many years and this was not the first such warning, disclaimer, word or phrase option I have provided during that time. I have also occasionally included similar alerts regarding content, words or phrases to Suse when I submit columns to this publication as well. Because, I have found, often what I consider funny and appropriate others may not.

I won’t go into the theme of my column where the words “G-spot” and “cleavage” are interchangeable. If you want to find out, read the spring issue of Backcountry Magazine.

“The funniest things are those that are forbidden.” — Mark Twain

I’ve made a fair living tip-toeing (and occasionally straying over) the boundaries of good taste. Truth is, it’s much easier to walk that line in print, because you can get a second or third opinion before it is published. That was not always the case in TV, radio or live.

And I’m not claiming to be some sort of enlightened Zen master, but working in a field where feedback is often swift, mostly kind, but sometimes brutal, gives you both a thicker skin and a closer acquaintance to the power of perspective. Because often is the case I’ll have people I like, respect, (and are married to) tell me something I said or wrote is offensive, not funny or makes no sense.

Thirty years ago that would have hurt my feelings or more likely made me angry. Eventually I was able to be more philosophical. Because, that is the nature of comedy; it’s subjective.

But then again, that is the nature of almost everything in life, love, politics and lifestyle: it is subjective.

I have some strong feelings about those three subjects. By reminding myself that those who disagree with me are simply operating from a varying frame of reference makes it easier to still like and respect those losers.

I believe it would be helpful for us all to bear in mind, just like humor, most opinions, politics and social positions are simply a matter of taste. Certainly opinions and positions can be either accepted or rebuffed. But it is counterproductive and bad for your mental health to dislike those with whom you disagree. Of course though, it is fair to like or dislike someone based on how they treat you, treat the planet and those you love. But there will always be good people who disagree with you and some jerks who don’t.

There are some deal-breakers. Hatred, cruelty, bigotry and those who diss on the New England Patriots must be challenged. But for the most part it is healthy for your attitude to recognize that different people — good and smart different people — can see humor and the world differently. It doesn’t make them evil; perhaps misguided or incorrect in some cases, but not evil.

So getting back to Tyler and my suggestion that, if needed, he could substitute cleavage for G-spot in the column I sent him, it will be perhaps a month or more before I learn of his decision. It’s his call and his job to make that choice, so I’ll understand either way. But his reply (referring to my email, not necessarily the column) was as follows:

“Thanks Biff. This email is the funniest thing I’ve read today, closely followed by my vet appointment earlier in the day where I described some weird behavior my dog was exhibiting… Without hesitation, the vet asked if she’d gotten into any edibles….”

We live in some strange and funny times. At least that’s what I think……

Jeffrey Bergeron, under the alias of Biff America, can be read in several newspapers and magazines. He can be reached at Biff’s new book “Mind, Body, Soul.” is available at local shops and bookstores or

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