If the “take a book, leave a book” sign — found in a very high-end, East Coast retirement community — was to be believed, the number of books on that table should always be the same. But that was not the case. I’ve been visiting a relative there for years and it seems like the number of books has grown substantially.

When I say a “high-end retirement community,” I don’t mean simply expensive. The residents include former chancellors of Ivy League universities and well-known authors, educators, physicists and masters of industry.
One recent visit was last spring. The weather in Boston was mild, unlike back here in the land of the “Chosen Frozen.” No matter — our small RV was packed and waiting for our return to Colorado.

As usual, we were planning to head out for several weeks with bikes and backcountry skis to travel the West and do what my wife wants. For me, one of the joys of our spring and fall getaways is the lack of distractions. This allows for hours of sitting, in the camper or outside in lawn chairs, reading. My taste in books lies in thrillers, mysteries, historical fiction and comedies. 

Knowing I had over a month of reading ahead of me I decided to stock up on books. Since I was back visiting that retirement facility, I decided to visit the “take a book, leave a book” table. There were even more books than the last time I was there. Hoping to maintain a balance of books, I helped myself to several hardcover books and left one ratty old paperback. I knew full-well that many of the residents would thank me while others might consider it stealing, so I did this when no one was watching.

I must say those living there had good taste. I admittedly passed over many options that seemed too high-brow or academic, opting for authors I recognized who catered to my working-class interests. When my mate saw the bag of books I pulled out while packing our camper, I admitted to abusing the honor system. Rather than congratulate me for culling the overstock, she criticized my breaking the book exchange protocol. “You stole books from old people!” she said.

On a seven-week trip, I breezed through some Grisham, Patterson, King, Connelly and Lehane. About a month in, I picked out a hardcover from an author I was unfamiliar with. I chose it because the story was set on Cape Cod, a place where I had spent some summers working as a waiter and bartender. Another selling point was the book was small, making it easier to slip under my shirt.  

As usual, when my bride saw me start a new book she said, “I hope you enjoy that stolen book.” Fact was, I did really enjoy that book. I’m no literary expert — if a book is fun to read, keeps me guessing and holds my attention, I consider it a good book. But on page 53, I let out an audible gasp. “What’s the matter?” Ellie asked. “Come across a big word you don’t understand?”

I handed her the book and said, “Start reading at the top of the page.” “Are you kidding me?” she shrieked. “Is this from the free book table?” My mate was referring to a passage describing a very kinky sexual encounter. The first of many such kinky passages. To be clear, Ellie and I are far from prudish, and in truth the graphic couplings were fun to read. But both of us could not help but wonder which one of the distinguished elderly residents, in their final years of life, had enjoyed that book. The next time we visited, we kept speculating if the lady using the pastel-painted walker, or the dude in the wheelchair with pinwheels and a small bicycle horn attached, was the book’s owner. Perhaps the social life at that place wasn’t just bridge, lectures and water aerobics?

Every generation lives under the misassumption that the generation before is robotic and conventual in needs and desires. All the lifestyle and sexual alternatives have existed for centuries, though they’ve only recently been talked about. Every whim, need and desire imagined is not new — only now discussed. All this has given us something to look forward to; Ellie and I have been researching retirement communities.

Jeffrey Bergeron’s column “Biff America” publishes Mondays in the Summit Daily News. Bergeron has worked in TV and radio for more than 30 years, and his column can be read in several newspapers and magazines. He is the author of “Mind, Body, Soul.” Bergeron arrived in Breckenridge when there was plenty of parking and no stoplights. Contact him at biffbreck@yahoo.com.