It’s your right to have a few sticks of TNT on your hips (column)
Special to the Daily
And now a word from the Dynamite Owners of America – DOA:
Wake up, America. At this crucial time in our nation’s history, our freedoms are under fire as never before. That’s why we must fight to protect our absolute, clearly defined, Second Amendment right to bear high explosives.
The sad truth is that we who would tote a few simple sticks of dynamite to our favorite coffee bar are not afforded that right. All freedom-loving Americans should ask: Why?
It is clear that the founders meant dynamite when they said “the right to bear arms shall not be infringed.” Look up “arms” in the dictionary. Is it limited to firearms?
Those men of vision did not say “guns,” or “submachine guns,” or “surface-to-air missiles.” They wrote the Constitution to be a living document. They meant for “arms” to never be construed as ever, in any way, restricting law-abiding Americans’ right to possess and display the most lethal weapons of whatever day would come and whatever circumstance, say going to Biology 101 at Any Campus U.S.A.
As for dynamite: Check your history books. It has been used for generations for a variety of purposes, including fighting enemies, and oppressive governments. The founders knew the strategic import of destroying a select bridge or enemy headquarters to advance the cause of liberty.
Dynamite is not just for fighting off occupying forces and invading armies. For us at DOA, dynamite is our sporting weapon of choice. Take fishing. You’d be surprised how many crappie will float to the surface with one well-placed charge.
Dynamite is completely safe in the hands of a trained sportsman/patriot. At our recent DOA convention, we had a show of hands. Ninety-three percent of our members had theirs.
Yes, dynamite is safe, sporting and protected by the Constitution — yet, when it comes to expanding weapon-holders’ rights, dynamite owners sadly are marginalized.
We were alarmed to see the Texas Legislature passing so-called open-carry legislation – legalizing the open display of handguns – without giving dynamite any consideration.
Granted, lawmakers were cowed. Consider the proponents who, bearing AK 47s, forced their way into offices of a Texas legislator who opposed open-carry. Later, the leader of the group posted something on Facebook about hanging legislative opponents “on the tree of liberty.” Now, that’s one sick Pomeranian. But we like his style.
Like the open-carry movement, we at DOA believe the flaunting of dynamite is vital to keeping the peace.
Let’s say one of our members were at a Texas restaurant that specializes in beer, wings and exposed privates. Let’s say heavily-armed and disagreeable biker gangs convened there for sundry purposes. Don’t think for a second that a few sticks dangling from a DOA member’s belt wouldn’t stop any disagreement.
If it didn’t, one flick of a Bic would avert any conflagration in a flash.
Sure, dynamite is used in terrorism. But, don’t blame the dynamite. Blame the terrorists.
We are joined in our plea for the open carrying of dynamite by the Grenade Fanciers of America and the Congress of Nitroglycerine Hobbyists.
The historical militia role aside, laws limiting the possession of high explosives deprive munitions hobbyists of a peaceable hobby. How many of you know the feel of a few smooth cylinders in your hands, candy-apple red, packed with ammonium nitrate, wired to a sleek timing device? Ooh, clean.
Much fun awaits when one takes a son or daughter out to the dynamite range to blow up ground squirrels or natural gas lines. What we at DOA want is for more Americans to experience that thrill up close, but not too close.
Yes, we at Dynamite Owners of America support the absolute, unfettered, no-exceptions right to bear arms. Ninety-three percent of our members have theirs.
Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.