Letter to the editor: Tim MacGoofy frets over school board politics | SummitDaily.com

Letter to the editor: Tim MacGoofy frets over school board politics

Bruce Menzel

I’ve got an idea for a TV pseudo-mockumentary. I might pitch it to Fox or maybe to a Christian channel.

It starts with conservative activist Tim MacGoofy fretting over how he can join the battle launched by his national Republican brethren to take over local school boards. He’s got a propaganda tool, the conservative opinion column that he writes for the local newspaper, but he doesn’t know how to weaponize it. He prays for a solution. Miraculously, the newspaper prints an article about student scores on a statewide knowledge testing program, which emphasizes the deleterious impact the COVID-19 pandemic has had upon student performance.

MacGoofy can scarcely believe his good fortune, thinking, “I’ll put some misleading numbers and statements in my opinion column, and the yokels will eat it up.”

He does. As a result, energized local conservatives muster a slate of candidates to run in the local school board election with the goal of introducing conservative doctrine into schools. Their mantra is, “academics first!” They flood voters with pronouncements that local schools are in terrible trouble with a capital T that rhymes with P that stands for platitudinous! We gotta teach our children our morals in the schools, they say. It sounds a bit like a knock-off of “The Music Man,” but my intended TV audience won’t notice it.

Then, four angels disguised as independent, experienced educational-program managers enter the scene. They run against MacGoofy’s slate. Disgruntled voters write letters to the newspaper complaining of MacGoofy’s subterfuge, while others quietly debunk related conservative plotting. They cite the school district’s long-term and continuing academic success story and its ongoing efforts to deal with changing demographics, COVID-19, financial challenges, etc. MacGoofy panics, thinking, “Gaursh, they’re onto me!”

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