Gale: How to write an embarassing letter (letter)
I’d like to add my experienced recommendations on how properly to contribute a polite letter to the editor, while keeping it civilized. First, never compose a letter to the editor unless you’ve been drinking heavily, such as what I’m doing right now. T. Alex Miller published my yarns since 1995, to my chagrin and raw embarassment. Second, make a specific point, and piss off as many people as possible. Third, profuse a hypothesis, such as “The Authorities Never Should Have Made Weed Legal.” Support the aforementioned hypothesis with facts and opinions such as: Legal marijuana really ruined it for me & my friends, no more “Weed Runs to the Tele-House,” today it’s b.s. just buying it on Main Street. Ninth, get strange, (conspicuously skipping steps #4 thru #8), state loudly, “Who the F- built a lift up to Peak 7? And is that a lift to Imperial Bowl or am I still tripping this is Ullr Fest Bonfire 1987 – Time Warp!?” Last, or tenth, or whatever, when submitting a “Letter to the Editor” go to: READERS TOOLS, scroll down to: “Contribute,” and type in your thoughts, with feeling, and maybe the editor will publish your idea.
I know I’ve embarrassed myself over the years. Why don’t you step up?
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