There’s a reason, even in the comic and cinematic universes, that there was only one Batman — even if he happened to be played by both George Clooney and Val Kilmer.

Only Batman gets to roll in the Batmobile, as a basic rule. If there were multiple Batmen and Batmobiles, you’d end up with a situation like my Front Range home, which is next to a high school where multiple loving parents have gifted their adolescent children with Dodge Hellcats. That’s way too many Batmobiles for the local police.

I realized this helps explain the useful scarcity of what might be the most rigid and imposing vehicle I’ve driven in years, the elusive Audi SQ8. Built up from the coupe-like Q8 SUV platform and mechanically related to the Lamborghini Urus SUV, it’s a 500-horsepower, 568-lb-ft expression of Audi’s performance model range that moves with the speed and stealth of the Dark Knight. 

Almost literally, actually: My test vehicle was parked on 23-inch wheels and $500-apiece 285/35-size Continental Sport Contact 6 race tires that were so wide and slick that urban driving was downright unpleasant. My SQ8 was blacker than black with darkened trim and a broad, black grille designed for inhaling as much oxygen as possible.

But they were all the ideal tools to optimize this very expensive vehicle and its absolutely snarling 4.0-liter twin-turbocharged V8 on a very, very long drive on Sunday from Denver to Walden and back. I took a counterclockwise route that included the Poudre Canyon, Cameron Pass and Colorado 125 across Willow Creek Pass, back to semi-civilization. 

Keen observers may note the total lack of people, cars or towns in the middle half of that drive, which is probably a situation Bruce Wayne would appreciate.

While the SQ8’s base price is $98,000, mine had $32,000 worth of extras, including $3,700 in all-surface leather and a suede headliner, a $4,900 Bang and Olufsen Advanced 3D sound system and the very important S Sport package. That included active roll stabilization, a sport-tuned rear differential and red brake calipers for the 15.8-inch brakes up front and the 13.8-inchers in the rear.

If those all seem like pretty large numbers, rest assured that the money and the oversized braking helps the nearly 6,000-pound, two-row SUV to corner, accelerate, steer and stop like a vehicle about half its mass – which is indeed very Batmobile-like.

An air suspension system and all-wheel steering also add to the cumulative effect, with the only minor issue being SQ8’s 79-inch width. Watch out on those very narrow, extremely straight, eerily depopulated stretches of highway.

Unlike, say, a Mercedes-AMG 63 variation of their bigger SUVs, or the overly futuristic flash of M versions of the new BMW X5, the Audi SQ8 seems relatively subtle in design, and while rigid to a point of cabin squeaks, it’s actually nowhere as teeth-gratingly physically brutal as its German cousins. Like the competition, full throttle makes noises like a scene out of “Bullitt.” All the time.

Seating is certainly well bolstered but it wasn’t a painful chore like AMG stuff tends to be, meaning that a six-plus-hour excursion was not an impossible task, Rear seating is also ample, with partially reclining and sliding seats and power-activated side shades, and red seatbelts and loads of red trim that are entirely in character here. The coupe-styled roof is a little low in the back, but still offers 30 cubic feet of storage behind the seats.

The whole cabin is very snazzy, of course, and up front, the mixture of glossy black screens, aluminum edges and carbon fiber trim is fantastic, even if there’s very little designated room up here for your stuff. The double-stacked navigation and HVAC controls need sort of a haptic nudge to work, and the rectangular shifter really needs to be tapped a second time on every outing to engage the car’s S Dynamic mode – which energizes the eight-speed automatic and seems to unleash even more horsepower. 

The very funny thing was that despite some Autobahn driving and the new joy of getting sucked into the high-speed German Automobile peloton that is a Sunday afternoon on I-70 into Golden, this still-fresh SQ8 averaged about 20 mpg, which is three higher than its posted city/highway average.

While I was entirely happy with the punch and rarity of this ride, your own comic universe might find it all a little pedestrian, so consider the somewhat uglier options, starting with the $138,000 RS Q8, which gets bumped to 631 hybrid-assisted horsepower, or the full-blown Urus itself, which offers an unthinkable 789 horsepower and is a more ungainly $242,000. 

Andy Stonehouse’s column “Mountain Wheels” publishes Saturdays in the Summit Daily News. Stonehouse has worked as an editor and writer in Colorado since 1998, focusing on automotive coverage since 2004. He lives in Golden. Contact him at summitmountainwheels@gmail.com.