Quandary: The poop fairy rides again
Quandary, the old and wise mountain goat, has been around Summit County for ages, and has the answers to all questions about life, love and laws in the High Country. Have a question for Quandary? Email your queries about Summit and the High Country to Quandary@summitdaily.com.
Hey Q! I enjoyed your article a while back on the toxicity of dog poo on our trails and have been real happy some Summit County trailhead signs go up advising peeps that it is the law to pick up the poops. I’ve been picking my pets poo up and packing it out for a long time. Here’s the thing: I see lots of bagged poo sitting on rocks along trails now. What gives? Do the people who bag it think it walks out itself? Do they forget to pack it out if they park it there for their return? Is there a rainbow-colored unicorn that is on vacation that comes along and cleans it all up? And, I’m thinking that leaving the poo in bags may even double down on toxicity. What’s your (s)tinkin?
C, my friend, I feel your pain. As you mentioned, this old goat has waxed poetic on the subject before, but no matter how many statistics, communicable diseases or ruined shoes I brought to light, nothing changed. Nothing!
This year seems to be particularly bad, and in part, I blame Ullr. Generally, the nastiness of the summer is hidden under a blanket of white by now, but alas the land mines are all fully visible still, and it’s really just gross. I mean, come on people, do you know how many animals are using the trails around here? And yet, it’s never goat poop you step in, is it?
C is also right, there seems to be a lot of people with half-baked good intentions leaving bags strewn across the trail as if to flag their lack of follow through. I’m sure you have a fantastic excuse for the tell-tale bag: there isn’t a trash can at the trailhead, we took a different trail out and I forgot, we were being chased by angry bears. I’m sorry, only one of those seems legitimate to me, and I’d like to see some tufts of fur before I’ll believe it. Leaving a bag of dog poop sitting on the trail is the equivalent of walking an old lady across the street and ditching her in the median. You don’t get credit for half of a good deed. Wait, I’m sorry, my analogy doesn’t quite work, picking up after your dog isn’t a good deed, it’s your responsibility. Leaving a bag on the trail is more like going to the office to take a nap. You put in all the effort to get there, but you couldn’t quite come through on your responsibilities.
Well, since my scientific approach proved futile last time, I shall now make a plea towards your humanity. I know, the poop fairy isn’t going to ride in on her rainbow-colored unicorn to save us all any time soon, but maybe we can save each other. Let’s do this Summit! With one Fill-A-Bag Day we can at least make a dent in the doggie doomsday marking our trails and fields. Keep in mind, this brilliant idea has absolutely no sponsors, no endorsements and no trophies — just an angry old goat and a legion of fed-up citizens. So grab a bag at any of the convenient locations throughout the county — often next to a trash can — and make this county one stink bomb poorer.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, I am, in fact, advocating for a poop fairy and rewarding bad behavior. But it’s not gonna get better if we all just sit around and talk about it. So let’s toss out an olive branch for Fido to fetch, and hope that dog owners around the county take it for what it is.
This is not a concession, and if you are one of those dog owners that has no time to pick up after your pet, know that I still despise you — or if you prefer, we can say your you-know-what still stinks. I’m just sick of looking at the mess you’ve left behind. We live in one of the most beautiful places in this country, but you can’t see any of it if your always looking down to check your hooves.
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