You might be older than 60 if S
Get ready because someday it is going to happen to you. Someday you will be older than 60 – unless, of course, you are run over by a truck, and then you won’t care.
Being 60-plus years old might not mean much to you, but for those of us who have reached and surpassed that magic number, it is a very special time in our lives.
With apologies to comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who has made a career out of playing off of “You might be a redneck if S”, here is my original “You might be over 60 if … “
n You remember protesting the war in Vietnam, but you can’t remember why.
n You can remember the exact dates of the birthdays of each of your six grandchildren but you can’t remember if you have taken your pills.
n You no longer worry about high insurance rates because of your children.
n You wish you could worry about high insurance rates because of your children because you really miss having them around.
n Your mailbox is always full of junk mail from AARP.
n You can act really stupid around young attractive women knowing the worst that will happen is you will remind them of their crazy Uncle Charlie.
n You no longer worry about not being tall enough for the NBA because you know you have exceeded their age cap.
n You have a certain sense of superiority knowing you are older than the president of the United States.
n You can baffle people with the fact you know the difference between the taillights on the 1955 and 1956 Chevrolet cars.
n You can finally win a race because you have finally gotten into an age class in which there are no other contestants.
n Your major interest in foreign affairs is whether you can buy your meds cheaper in Canada or Mexico.
n You don’t know very many people who remember World War II or anyone who ever actually met any World War I veterans.
n You actually have worn pants with little belts in the backs (Ivy League pants).
n You know Madras is not only a state in India but is actually a fabric or pattern.
n You remember when ski boats were made out of wood instead of fiberglass.
n You remember when there were no interstate highways.
n You remember when Hawaii and Alaska weren’t yet states.
n You can remember not having television.
n You can remember when some people had phone numbers that were “one long and a short.”
n You can remember when it was illegal to have margarine colored yellow and you had to break a coloring packet and mix it so it would look like butter.
n You can remember not starting a car with a key and having to use a crank or a switch.
n You can remember when unleaded gas was called “white gas,” and all cars ran on leaded gas.
n You can remember seeing $2 bills on a regular basis.
n You can remember pay phones on every corner.
n You can remember when there was no negative campaign advertising, and someone once ran on the slogan “I like Ike.”
n You can remember when Cuba was a weekend retreat for people from Miami.
n You can remember watching Tom Mix, Gene Autry and Roy Rogers at the Saturday movie matinee.
n You can remember that most of this happened in the middle of the last century.
n You can also remember you are only as old as you think you are and not what it says on your driver’s license.
Despite his age, columnist Gary Lindstrom always remembers he has a column due every Thursday in the Summit Daily News.
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