$0.02: Wish I could attend Imus-Rutgers meeting
What embattled radio host Don Imus said of the Rutgers women’s basketball team – he called the predominantly black NCAA runners-up “nappy-headed hos” – proves just how terribly off-track the talk show world has gone. The self-censorship we once could trust simply isn’t there anymore. People say anything they please, rarely having to defend their words in front of a viciously demanding public. At least that’s what I’m guessing a listener from a bygone era of accountability might say about Imus. Me? I think the guy’s an idiot for spewing such trash, but I’m more interested in what the upcoming private meeting between Imus and the Rutgers team will be like. I’d suck a toenail to be there. You think a Monica Lewinsky-Hillary Clinton dinner date would be awkward? Not compared to this. I have never been called a nappy-headed anything, let alone a nappy-headed ho, but I can’t imagine such a phrase is easily forgotten or forgiven.Please tell me where I sign up for a press credential. I’ll be a piece of gum under the table, a booger on the chair leg, a Jerry Springer bouncer. Whatever it takes to get me through those doors, so I can see the look on decrepid old Donnie’s face when those 6-foot-4, fuming power forwards stare him down like he called their mommas fat. …The latest from Floyd Landis, as gathered during my bimonthly visit to his weblog, is that he’s six months removed from his hip surgery and, he writes, “let me tell you that my physical health has not been this good in many years.”With updates on the FFN – Floyd Fairness Fund – filling the right side of his page, Landis tells us that he’s been getting a wee bit of exercise lately, too.”Mountain Biking – I have been getting on the trails with some frequency. Before, falling was too big a risk.”Running – Now, I’m not saying I am a runner in any sense, but since my BHR procedure I have been able to hustle through airports or chase a taxi in a way that just was impossible previously.” …Just a phase? The Rockies hit only four home runs in their first seven games. …Quote of the Week: It’s a tie, and both pertain to gamebreaking cornerback Pacman Jones being suspended for the entire upcoming NFL season. The first came from Pacman’s mother, who was quoted by the Associated Press as saying of her son’s suspension, “I just pray that this can be changed. This is not fair for him. It’s just not fair.”I guess I don’t understand what’s not fair about it. Pacman is a menace, bad news, a virtual homing device for police looking to find law breakers. Which brings us to our second quote, coming from SDN copy editor Ryan Wondercheck, who is funnier than he gets credit for.Upon reading the news of Pacman’s suspension on our afternoon AP wire, Wondercheck sighed. “Tough being a gangster these days,” he lamented. …Me: Yes, Alex, I’ll take Special Babies for $800 please.Alex: The answer: Without him they are doggie diarrhea, an armpit follicle, a black hole for hope, just another reason Cleveland as a city stinks like-Me: Who are LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers?Alex: Right!James, for all you numbers men and women, has averaged 41.2 minutes a game this year, 6.8 rebounds, 6 assists, 1.6 steals and 27.5 points, all while shooting a stunning 47 percent from the field and jumping so damn high on his dunks that you’d swear he’s playing on a pair of pogo sticks. Entering Tuesday night, Cleveland had the second-best record in the Eastern Conference (46-32). …In parting, with the World Cup ski racing season now done and gone, it’s time to start wondering whether we’ve seen the last of Bode Miller dodging alpine gates. Citing a need for flamboyance and unpredictability in sports, here’s an early vote for no.Devon O’Neil can be contacted at (970) 668-4633, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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