It’s Wally World in our own backyard
BRECKENRIDGE – My Friday morning started with a slow Alpine Slide ride through a field of daisies and ended with a thunderstorm and a slight headache. It was a good day at the Breckenridge Fun Park.Since Rick took a hiatus from movie reviews, we decided to bicker about kiddie attractions instead. I did my best to be the obnoxious “she said” by making him sit on the right-hand side of the chairlift so it bumped him in the butt as we (slowly) stepped off; by aiming for his golf ball instead of the hole on the putt-putt course; and by making him wait for nearly a half-hour while I stood in line for the quad power jump. (He was too hungover to bounce.)
I recommend getting to the park early, because by about 10:30 a.m., I felt like I was in Wilderness Wally World. It gave me a tinge of culture shock.In this world of faster-is-better, we started with the slow Superslide, which I wholeheartedly recommend. Tall daisies sprout on each side of the track, creating walls of green, white and yellow. It was like sailing through an Alice-in-Wonderland scene where flowers dwarfed me, making me feel as though I was a small animal running through a field.The fast track offers less of a stop-and-smell-the-daisies experience and more of a speed-racer feel. According to the pictures I looked at, there’s a possibility of dumping, but I felt safe enough barely using the brake. I planned to fully accelerate on the second run, but the rain spoiled our fun. (By the way, refunds are given if the track gets wet.)
Kids and parents seemed way more excited about the maze than I was; I wanted to get very lost, but I ended up finding the end within four minutes.Breckenridge has its own version of putt-putt, and it’s not PGA approved. The holes are more like prairie dog mounds, and there weren’t always rock borders to stop my pink ball from rolling into the weeds. I stopped keeping score after Rick and I had a couple nine-stroke holes.The ziplines are fun, but it wasn’t until the last ride that I discovered spinning is the key to excitement. The most heart-pounding part is walking from step to step on a suspended bridge. I kept thinking it’d be an awful way to strain, say, an Achilles tendon. (Cue imaginary conversation: Them: “How did you hurt your foot?” Me trying to sound gnarly: “Oh, ya know, on the mountain.”)
Finally, the Quad Power Jump is a must. Granted, I didn’t see anyone my age on the trampolines, and, feeling a little awkward, my immediate response when they asked me to step on the scale was, “Do I LOOK like I weigh more than 190 pounds?” But it turned out they weren’t sizing my age or weight up to boot me off the ride; they just wanted to adjust the bungee cords.I walked away with what felt like a swollen brain, but I had a great time doing somersaults.When Kimberly Nicoletti is not reviewing movies with Rick, she’s sliding down Alpine slides or trying to make Rick lose his balance while he crosses the suspended bridge at the Breckenridge Fun Park.
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