The Breakdown: A practice in randomness
summit daily news
Summit County, Colorado
Somedays, I literally have no attention span while writing: I’ll sit down with a solid thought for a column, then change my mind, then change it back, then switch it again.
It’s a mess.
That was my problem while writing this column. You see, it’s not that I can’t think of anything to talk about, it’s that there are too many topics that are interesting, but they aren’t quite 650-word material. Ya, know?
So, rather than sit here stewing and staring at the blank document in front of me, I’m taking the easy way out. That is, I’m going to give you a semi-brief look at a few different topics that have nothing to do with one another – just a nice practice in randomness.
Here we go …
So, I was watching Brett Favre play Monday night for the Vikes – No! Don’t stop reading, I swear this isn’t even about him – and they showed a picture of now-ESPN-Monday Night Football analyst John Gruden in his days in Green Bay with No. 4. I bring this up for the sole reason of what he was wearing: a green Packers sweatshirt that barely went down to his waste, then a tight – and I mean tight – pair of green sweat pants that made Steve Urkel’s trousers look like they needed a hem.
Now, I’m certainly no fashion expert by any means, so that’s not really the point. No, I was just amazed that in one flash of a photo on TV, one of the biggest hard-asses I’ve ever seen coach in the NFL changed forever in my mind. I don’t think I can ever hear him talk again without picturing him in this outfit. It’s sad really.
Anyway, that brings me to another point, which actually is fairly substantial and has nothing to do with a 40-year-old man’s pants. Well, at least not directly.
Watching Favre play Monday – again, this isn’t about him, so you can keep reading – I was reminded of a theory that I have about NFL quarterbacks: At any given time, there are only 15 people in the world that are capable of being a solid NFL starter. Now, that probably sounds crazy at first, but when you think about it, it’s absolutely true. Sure, there are probably more like 300 guys who have the athletic ability to do so, but, as we all know, playing quarterback in the NFL requires more than just athleticism. If that weren’t the case, Vince Young would be more valuable than Tom Brady.
Anyway, to get back on track, you can look down the list of every team’s starter under center, and there are barely more than a dozen guys, at most, that you can say without a doubt that they are a good NFL QB. Everyone else has something a little off – or in the case of Kyle Orton, aka Ol’ Neckbeard, a whole lot off. Here’s my list of “actual” NFL” QBs (in no particular order): Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Donovan McNabb, Kurt Warner, Philip Rivers, Jay Cutler, Carson Palmer, Ben Roethlisberger, Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Ryan, Marc Bulger, Joe Flacco and Eli Manning. That’s it.
To end on an even-more random note: How in the world is Pacman Jones back in football? I know it’s only the Canadian Football League, but that’s just ridiculous. How can a guy with that kind of track record be allowed to make money as an athlete? It blows my mind. The next thing you’re going to tell me is that Brandon Marshall is still in the NFL.
Oh, wait …
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