The Breakdown: Top Gun 2!
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Summit County, Colorado
I feel the need, the need for speed.
Or at least it seems like some Hollywood types do, because it’s now pretty much official: There will be a Top Gun 2. And, rumor has it, Tom Cruise will be back as Maverick. (No news yet on a reprise of the awkward and shirtless beach volleyball scene, but I’m sure there will be a number of unnecessary shower “talks” like in the original.)
I have no idea how this is going to work or if it’ll be any good at all.
And I don’t care. Considering I’ve seen the original about 347 times, used to constantly recite lines from it with my brothers and once stopped traffic to get my picture taken in front of Charlie’s house in San Diego (that was only three years ago), a sequel to one of my favorite childhood movies gets me more excited than Brett Favre around female sideline reporters.
We likely have a few years before the movie comes out, but all of this got me thinking: What are some other sequels that should be made?
Of course, I mean this in terms of sports. You know, like wouldn’t it be great to see a rematch of the Patriots and Raiders in the infamous tuck-rule game in the AFC Championship, or seeing what happened to Barry Bonds in the months after the entire Majors black-balled him out of the league. (Really, I want to know what he did with his spare time, besides finding the ability to shrink his head by three hat sizes and lose about 40 pounds.)
So, we’re breaking this down into two “sequel” categories. The first will be the “Rocky II Division,” where all are rematches of a previous game, fight, event, etc., with the athletes still in the same form they were at the time. The second is the “Rocky III Division,” where we get a glimpse into what happened after a critical event went down. To keep the random Rocky theme going, we’ll have six total – with the fifth one being way below the standards of the other five.
1. Cubs-Marlins, 2003 NLCS. This may be an obvious choice for anyone who knows the pathetic life I lead as a devoted Cubs fan, but I just can’t let it go. And I never will. If the Cubs lose again, then, in the words of Ernie Banks, “Let’s play two (more sequels).”
2. Patriots-Giants, Super Bowl XLIV. One of the greatest upsets in sports that came down to a final drive that should have ended at least twice: 1) Asante Samuel’s dropped interception, and 2) the ridiculous helmet catch by a guy who’s already out of the league at age 30. It was awesome to watch, and it’d be even better a second time around.
3. Red Wings-Blues, 1996 Western Conference Semifinals. The epic series went to seven games, with Detroit captain Steve Yzerman scoring in double overtime to give the Wings the win over Wayne Gretzky, Brett Hull and the Blues. I know this is hockey, and most likely you have no idea what I’m talking about, but just trust me on this one.
4. John Rocker – Beyond the Racism. I just can’t imagine what this guy might be doing nowadays. Wait, actually I can, and it has to do with sitting on a front porch with a shotgun.
5. The Ryan Leaf Story. It could be a deep look into what happens when someone hits rock bottom. Maybe it could be exactly like Rocky V: After falling from fame, Leaf goes back to his hometown, loses all his money (and somehow his ability to put full sentences together), trains the next Chargers quarterback and then gets in a bar fight with him at the end. Yeah, that wouldn’t be all that great – unless it’s Philip Rivers getting his face punched in for that final scene.
6. Marvin Harrison fully loaded. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a high-profile athlete fall so fast – and so hard. The shooting accusations are just a part of it. Also, this kind of gives us a good Maverick-Goose comparison here, because Harrison is basically Peyton Manning’s Goose, right? So, maybe the way Manning has moved on and played since Harrison’s career was killed has something to do with how the new Top Gun movie might play out. Maybe Maverick will just spread the co-pilot role around the way Manning has, and maybe Maverick will break down in every big moment, too. I don’t know, but it should be a lot better than watching the Colts.
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