The Breakdown: Where’s my hat?
summit daily news
Someone in Breckenridge – or more specifically, someone with a box at the Breck post office – has my hat. Well, it’s not exactly my hat. I mean, It was supposed to be mine: I paid for it and ordered it, and the box it came in was addressed to me. But I’ve never exactly possessed it, because, well, someone else has it.
Three weeks ago, I ordered a replica of the Chicago Cubs 1914 road hat online. It wasn’t until Monday – when I still hadn’t received it – that I realized I’m an idiot. (Really, I’ve come to that conclusion before, just not in regards to this exact situation.)
The problem? I put the wrong address on there. The name was right, the P.O. box number was right, but not the town or the zip code. I live in Breck, my box is in Frisco.
As I said, I’m an idiot.
So, again, someone else has my hat – undoubtedly the person with box No. 2571 in Breck.
(Note: I don’t in any way blame the post office for delivering this package to the box. After all, it was the address on the package. And, they were really helpful when I called.)
Anyway, so when I delivered the terrible news to my wife (who was annoyed I prefaced it by telling her “I have really bad news to tell you”) she said that, maybe, it’s a sign I shouldn’t have gotten it.
While that was certainly an allusion to the fact I own about 47 Cubs hats, I took it as a deep statement about faith, karma and superstition in sports.
You see, I buy a new hat before every single baseball season – always one in support of the Northsiders. The idea is that with each new hat, all the years of misery and losing are wiped clean; each brand-new lid – bright blue and glorious – is a symbol of all that can be hoped for during the upcoming season. Sometimes, I go for throwbacks, sometimes for authentic game hats, sometimes ones with unique logos.
As you can probably tell from the Cubs’ history of championships, I haven’t quite figured out the right combination yet.
Always, though, I think this next cap, this next season is the one, the right one that propels Chicago to a title.
I’m a fairly superstitious person.
It’s gotten a whole lot better since I made the switch from a person playing the sport to a person watching it, but I’m still pretty bad about it. (I wore the same combination of sweatpants, undershirt, jersey and hat during every Bears game this season.)
This, I guess, is where it all gets weird, because, when someone’s superstitious while playing a sport, it can be understood. I mean, anything that makes you feel more comfortable and more confident is a good thing.
(Note: That excludes former Major Leaguer Moises Alou’s pregame ceremony of urinating on his hands. That’s just wrong.)
When you’re watching it on TV, or even from the stands at the stadium, how much effect does your lucky pair of underwear really have on how other people perform?
Well, there are four ways to look at it: 1) Everything is predestined, which essentially means it would’ve happened no matter what you did; 2) Everything is destined to happen based on what you do, i.e. your random superstitious routines; 3) Everything just happens in real time, and nothing we do, before or after, has any effect; or 4) Everything just happens in real time, and every little thing we do could have catastrophic consequences on the outcome.
Which one is right? I’m not sure. All I can tell you is that it’s not worth taking the chance.
I want my hat, I need my hat. I mean, it could be THE hat I’ve always needed. It could be the only thing standing in Chicago’s way of winning it all.
And it cost me $29.97 (counting shipping).
So, whoever has it, can you help me out? Or more importantly, can you help out a franchise that’s been floundering in futility for more than 100 years? We’re all counting on you.
Bryce Evans is offering a reward of being named a finalist for the Summit Daily News ‘Sportsman of the Year’ in exchange for the hat’s safe return. While he just made up the award, while writing this, it’s still considered highly prestigious.
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